Every massage therapy student should have to read at least one textbook.

I was required to take a minimum of 750 hours of schooling to become a licensed massage therapist in the state of Arizona. Roughly translated, that’s nine months of school four full days a week. Most of the curricula focused on anatomy, pathology, practical application, and ethical considerations. In order to maintain my license,  I need to take 25 hours of continuing education classes every two years.

If I had still been living in San Francisco when I decided to get a license, I could have been granted a “General Practitioner Permit” with 100 hours of training, or an “Advanced Practitioner Permit” with 200 hours of training.  In other words, if I go back to California and prove that I meet those minimum requirements, I would basically be a   General+Advanced-Advanced-Advanced Practitioner.

Somehow, I don’t think I qualify to be considered a massage therapy superhero. I also don’t think that each California school hour is twice as educational as an Arizona school hour.

What’s even more confusing: California, like some other states, doesn’t have set of statewide regulations. Even worse is that some states do have a set of regulations, but they allow their cities to impose separate regulations that therapists must adhere to. If a massage therapist wants to move over to a neighboring city, she might have to change her policy or even take an extra exam. (Of course, if that therapist moves to a different state, she might have to take an extra 900 hours’ worth of classes.)

Certain cities’ regulations are downright offensive. While I was sitting in a Scottsdale, Arizona cadaver lab to learn the ins-and-outs of human anatomy, some California would-be massage therapists were submitting to STD tests in order to become certified. Massage licensing regulations are all over the place (or for some states, nonexistent.)

The American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) estimated in 2008 that there were between 265,000 and 300,000 massage therapists and massage therapy students in just the United States. The U.S. Department of Labor estimated that the massage therapy field would see a rapid 20 percent increase in employment from 2006-2016.

I think it’s laughable, yet also sad, that such a booming industry hasn’t yet found a way to establish a cohesive set of strict regulations. I don’t necessarily think that massage therapy should be formally standardized across the United States, but I do think that all states should establish their own regulations. I also think that all states should set similar standards.

It just doesn’t seem right to me that, while I provide injury treatments and while therapists in New York are working to obtain 1,000+ hours of training, massage therapists in some parts of the country are still called “masseuses” in the way that strippers are called “exotic dancers.”

Regulating massage therapy will:

1. Help ensure that all clients are safer because all therapists will have been background checked.
2. Ensure that all therapists have met a minimum set of educational requirements so that clients will be able trust who is treating them.
3. Set ethical standards and allow the law to apply appropriate punishments to those who break those standards.
4. Increase the amount of clinical studies performed in regard to massage therapy and encourage insurance companies to cover massage as a result of proven results.
5. Encourage massage therapists across the country to feel more united as a team.

It’s time to get the ball rolling.

If you’re interested in finding out more about regulations in your state or city, check out the following links:
Massage Therapy State Boards and Licensure
Massage Laws and Legislation in the United States and Canada

Legitimate massage therapy businesses shouldn't display this sign.

“You do massage therapy? Do you like being a masseuse?”

Well, I wouldn’t really know what it’s like to be a masseuse because I’m a licensed massage therapist (L.M.T.) in the state of Arizona. Unfortunately, that statement almost makes me sound like I add the fancy acronym to all of my magazine subscriptions as if I were a doctor. I’m not really that uptight, but I do have a legitimate reason to squirm away from the “masseuse” title.

The word “masseuse” originated in French to describe a female who gives massages and “masseur” describes a male who gives massages. “Masseuse” describes me, right?

Yes and no.

A licensed massage therapist can always be considered a masseuse/masseur but a masseuse/masseur isn’t always a licensed massage therapist. Now that massage therapy has started to become regulated in this country, most states won’t allow unlicensed individuals to charge for massage. People who aren’t licensed, certified, registered, etc. in their states do give massages on the sly, but they can’t profess that they meet state or city requirements.

Some masseuses/masseurs may be self-taught experts of anatomy and physiology. They may be better at my job than I am. (I suppose they can call themselves massage therapists as long as they don’t purport to be licensed.) Others just hand out business cards that say, “I’ll rub you the right way,” and, “Feeling knotty?” They will give you a back rub. Some masseuses/masseurs may work out of their homes, others may do outcalls, but many of them work at massage parlors, where the clientele expect a little more than a massage.

The terms “masseuse” and “masseur” were used on a regular basis in the United States for so long that it is still normal for anyone to use them interchangeably with “certified massage therapist,” “licensed massage therapist,” or “registered massage therapist.” But, as one who went through the 750 hours of schooling to obtain a license, I’d prefer not to be linked to a name which indicates that I may wear stilettos and a tube top on the job.

So, if someone ever calls me a masseuse, I don’t get huffy and say, “I can’t believe you just called me that!” I might, however, offer a gentle nudge in a more affirmative direction by nodding and saying, “Yes, I am a licensed massage therapist.”

Your abdomen is your friend.

The abdomen isn’t merely a container for most of the body’s internal organs; it is also contains emotions. Have you ever received terrible news and had the feeling that your heart has plummeted into the pit of your stomach? I have.

Some of us experience tension mostly as headaches while others of us deal with stomach problems connected with daily stress. Body stress actually begins in infancy. Many babies experience abdominal distress on a regular basis (often linked to colic,) and children get tummyaches when they are stressed out about school or friends. As we get older, we usually fall into one of two categories: headache people and stomachache people.

Sure, we might all get both every once in a while, but one type of discomfort is definitely prevalent. While I feel fortunate to be able to say I’ve never had a migraine headache, I can’t say the same about excruciating stomach pain. Most of my stomach troubles came at a time when I was being treated for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Not surprisingly, a study published in “Alimentary Pharmacology & Therapeutics” found a direct association between GAD and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

Emotions are indeed very physical. It’s the reason why getting a massage doesn’t just feel good physically, but also allows us to leave the table feeling like life is completely worthwhile. The best part is that, while massage does help reduce physical ailments, its benefits are multiplied because a healed mind contributes to a healed body.

I’m disappointed that massage therapists don’t spend much time working in the abdominal region. I currently have one client on whom I perform regular weekly abdominal massage, and the treatment is truly a mind-body experience for both of us.

If you get a lot of stomachaches, I encourage you to ask your massage therapist to focus on your abdomen for at least a few minutes every session. Because the abdomen can be so closely connected with emotional reservations, receiving a massage in that area can feel a little more intimate or even invasive in the beginning. Over time, however, you will get used to having someone else apply healing touch in that area, which I believe will allow you to release some of what is causing the discomfort.

I also encourage you try some basic abdominal massage techniques on yourself:

1. Lie flat on your back with a thick pillow just below your knees.

2. Rub your palms together until you feel heat radiating from your hands.

3. Let your hands rest side by side and palm-down just below your navel. Feel the steady rise and fall of your abdomen as you take slow, deep breaths. Focus on every breath, allowing your body to relax under the warm weight of your hands.

4. Using the full surface of both palms, massage your abdomen in clockwise circles to follow the natural digestive pathway in your colon. Start with small circles directly around the navel, gradually working your way out toward the edges of your torso. Let your hands work in a flowing motion by alternately stroking with one as you lift the other.

5. Let your massage last as long as your body is receptive to it, but try to work for at least 10 minutes to start with.

Tips:

• You can massage your abdomen through thin clothing, but working directly on your skin with a warming massage oil is a more effective way to induce physical and emotional relaxation.
• Check out this video if you want to see some advanced techniques.

Warning:

Abdominal massage is contraindicated for anyone:

• In the first trimester of pregnancy
• Actively undergoing chemotherapy
• Experiencing a flare-up of IBS or Crohn’s Disease
• Recently recovering from abdominal surgery
• With an abdominal aneurysm
• With cirrhosis of the liver
• With angina pectoris
• With an active infection or cancer in the abdominal region

Massage minutes go by faster than the rest.

If you’ve ever been to a spa or any other place where massage therapy is offered, you probably know that massage therapists provide treatments for assorted lengths of time. Three typical massage lengths are 30 minutes, 60 minutes, and 90 minutes.

The most common massage in a spa environment is a 60-minute massage. As a massage therapist at a chiropractic office, I’d say I give about an equal amount of 30-minute and 60-minute massages. I give occasional 90-minute massages and have only given a single two-hour massage.

Which should you choose? The one that’s best for you depends on what you expect to get out of your massage.

30-minute Massage

• What it is:A 30-minute massage is a great maintenance massage for one area of the body. (Most of my 30-minute clients enjoy my combination shoulder, low-back, neck, and scalp massage.) It can also offer you a quick breather in the midst of a stressful day. Another major “pro” of a 30-minute massage is that it’s usually pretty cheap.

• What it isn’t: 30 minutes isn’t the intended length of time for a full body massage; it simply isn’t enough time to adequately address all areas of the body. If I were to break down a general full body massage into 30 minutes, I wouldn’t have enough time to do extra work on any of the muscles after I warmed them up.

60-Minute Massage

• What it is: 60 minutes is enough time to fit in a relaxing full body massage. An hour gives me time to warm up muscles pay a little extra special attention to problem areas. A 60-minute massage will be more expensive than a 30-minute massage, but many massage therapist offices and spas won’t actually double the cost for double the time. Generally, you’ll get more massage for your buck if you choose a longer massage. (For example, if a chiropractic office charged $40 for 30 minutes, it might charge $65 for 60 minutes.)

• What it isn’t: Some clients don’t feel that 60 minutes is quite enough time for them to be on the table when they want a well-rounded treatment. As a therapist, I agree. I can give a full-body massage in 60 minutes but I still feel rushed. For example, sometimes I’ll have already worked on a person’s back for 20 minutes but then run across a problem area right before I go onto the next body part. I have no choice but to tell my client something like, “I can continue to work on this spot and not work on your arms and legs, or I can just continue on

90-minute+ Massage

• What it is: 90 minutes is blissful. It’s enough time for me to slow down, ignore the clock a bit, and listen closely to what a client’s body is telling me. It’s also enough time for me to try out new massage techniques. Some of my clients say, “Once you try a 90-minute massage, you will never want to go back to shorter ones.” A 90-minute massage is naturally more expensive than your other options, but it also is usually cheapest per minute. I couldn’t say whether you should get a 30-minute massage every two weeks or one 90-minute massage every six weeks; that really depends on how often your body needs maintenance.

• What it isn’t: A 90-minute massage isn’t for people who have trouble lying in one position for extended periods of time. It also isn’t a frequent treatment option for people who are on a tight budget. However, I urge you to try it once to decide whether it suits you.

Some take their coffee black; I take my tea green.

I love green tea. It’s a wonder brew, full of antioxidants that can hunt down free radicals in the body. Research increasingly shows that including green tea in your daily diet can help protect your body against cancer, arthritis, cardiovascular problems, high cholesterol, infection, and a weak immune system. Now you may be able to reap even more benefits of green tea by doing more than drinking a plain cup of it.

Here are some other fun ways to enjoy it:

Boost Your Daily Cup – According to a study at Purdue University, adding citrus juice or vitamin C to your daily brew of green tea can help green tea’s antioxidants stay in your body longer after digestion. So use either some citrus juice (lime is a quite tasty addition) or add some vitamin C to your tea and your body may reap more benefits.

Make a Green Tea Acne Treatment – Green tea acne treatments have become increasingly popular because they contain ingredients known to detoxify, reduce inflammation, swelling, and clear oil build-up. Treatments can be purchased or made at home. To make your own green tea acne treatment, boil some green tea, allow it to cool, and mix it with an egg white. Apply the treatment to a freshly washed face, wait for the mask to dry and harden on your face, and rinse it off with warm water. You can also skip the full green tea acne treatment concoction and apply a warm and wet green tea bag to the areas of your face affected by acne. I can’t personally vouch for it since I haven”t tried it yet. However, green tea in itself is quite mild and shouldn’t do you any harm.

Use Green Tea Shampoo – Most brands of green tea shampoo are quite gentle on the scalp and hair. They are full of antioxidants and vitamins, and they are known to strengthen and thicken hair as well as help repair damaged and dry hair. Brands such as June Jacobs Green Tea and Cucumber Conditioning Shampoo are helpful with hair that has been treated with dye and other chemicals.

Other Green Tea Products – The list of green tea products increases as green tea’s health benefits become well-known. If you’re curious, try some green tea ice cream, green tea toothpaste, green tea dessert bars, green tea-infused chocolates and caramels, and maybe even some green tea mints.

If you know of any other good ones, let me know.

Caution: After you get your first massage, you may be addicted for life.

Caution: After you get your first massage, you may be addicted for life.

So you’ve never gotten a massage.

Well, there has to be a first time for everything! Many clients come to me for their first massage, not exactly sure what to expect. They have an idea of what a professional massage should be like based upon some combination of what their friends tell them and what they see in the movies.

Trust your friends more than you trust the silver screen. I’ve got to say that movies provide an interesting depiction of massage therapy. While some representations are accurate, others are wildly different from the real experience. For example, most of my clients don’t look like supermodels. Secondly, not every client chooses to dress down to nothing. Finally—and most importantly—my massages are always purely platonic.

The truth is: the massage experience is different for everybody, but you should never feel uncomfortable when you are on the table. Every good massage therapist should know that and make sure that you feel at ease throughout the whole experience. However, I have to add that most massage therapists aren’t mind readers; you need to be able to feel comfortable asking questions and voicing your concerns whenever they come up.

Just to ease your mind a little in advance, I’ll lay out some common questions/concerns about a first massage and briefly respond to each.

1. I have a medical condition. Is it OK for me to get a massage? Many people with medical conditions find relief from their symptoms when they receive massage regularly. However, certain conditions are contraindicated. Some conditions, like rashes, may only be contraindicated locally (or directly on the site of the condition,) while others are more serious. Talk to your doctor before you get a massage. Once your doctor gives you the thumbs up, make sure your massage therapist knows about your condition.

2. When should I show up for my first massage? Most therapists prefer that regular clients show up at least 10 minutes early, but you should show up at least 20 minutes early for your first massage. You will need to fill out an intake form and have plenty of time to use the restroom, etc. Not all clients are aware that their massage time usually starts when they are left alone in the room to get on the table. If you show up early and are on the table by your slated start time, you generally will get a longer massage.

3. Do I have to take off all of my clothes? (Even my underwear?) You don’t have to take off all your clothes if you feel uncomfortable removing all of your clothes. In fact, some massage modalities don’t require you to take off any clothes. However, if you are experiencing low back or hip pain and you are going to receive anything like a Swedish or Deep Tissue massage, your therapist will be able to access more muscles if you remove all of your clothes. Know that even if you are fully unclothed, your therapist will only remove the sheet from one small area at a time as he or she works on it.

4. How often should I talk during the massage? Some massage clients find that they are able to unwind more if they get to know their therapist a little bit in advance. Others find talking completely unnecessary. Massage therapists are used to having talkers and non-talkers. However, your therapist should check in with you periodically to make sure you are comfortable and to inform you if/when you need to change your position on the table.

5. Is massage painful? It shouldn’t be painful for you. Your therapist will work to your pressure tolerance and ask you how you feel: don’t lie if you’re not enjoying the massage. The only person you’re hurting is yourself. If you’ve decided to get a massage in order to relieve some pain, you may experience some discomfort when your therapist does condition-specific work. Even then, your therapist should check in with you to make sure he or she is working within your threshold.

6. What happens if I accidentally get aroused? Sometimes things like that happen even when you don’t have sexual thoughts running through your head. All good therapists should know that and not think anything of it. However, if you begin to act based on any of those sensations (e.g. you touch your therapist or make insinuating comments,) your massage therapist reserves the right to—and very well should—end the massage right there and refuse to give you massages in the future.

7. What if I feel so relaxed that I end up falling asleep? Great! I encourage my clients to fall asleep. I especially find that clients who don’t get much sleep at home are able to fall quickly asleep during a massage. Most sleeping clients’ bodies are so relaxed that I am able to make more progress than I would be able to if they were tensing their muscles the whole time. Also, don’t worry about snoring. Therapists hear that all the time.

8. What should I do after my massage? Stay relaxed! Take deep breaths and be mindful of your body for the rest of the day. After the post-massage sleepy, trance-like state wears off, you should feel well-rested and maybe even have a heightened sense of clarity for the rest of the day. Also, don’t forget to drink lots of water. Water is a great natural way to flush toxins (natural metabolic byproducts that come to the surface during a massage) out of your system. I once didn’t hydrate properly after I got a massage and I didn’t feel so great a few hours later.

9. Should I leave a tip? Just as you would tip a hairdresser or server, leave your therapist gratuity if you think she deserves one. Since I work in a chiropractic office where not all clients realize they’re even allowed to tip, I’m very grateful for any tips I receive. Be aware that therapists who work at spas only earn a small fraction (~20-30%) of what the massage cost, and therapists who work for other therapists or chiropractors typically only receive about 40% to half of what the massage cost.

Do you have any other questions? Send me a note on my contact page and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

"Are you ready for your massage?"

I love stopping by places like Brookstone whenever I go to the mall because I get the chance to sit in one of those nifty massage chairs for free. If I’m lucky, the chair will find the areas in my neck and back that even most of my massage therapists can’t seem to access. If I’m not so lucky, the rumbling heat being sent up my back will still induce relaxation. It’s a win-win situation.

Robots are getting so high-tech these days that they’ve begun to replace humans, but I’m not too concerned that massage therapists will end up needing to switch careers. Even when I read stories like this one, I think, “Wow! Technology is amazing!” but I can’t say I ever really worry that my position will be filled in by something that runs on batteries and sleeps in a closet.

Humans will always need each other because there can never be such a thing as synthetic genuine touch.

When I accidentally smack my foot into a door, one of the first things I do (after I scream a couple of expletives) is I grab my foot with my hands to soothe my injury. That instinct is not unique to me. All humans do it because it causes the pain to subside. Touching the pain and rubbing or pressing it will stimulate other nerve fibers and cause the spinal cord and brain to “forget” about the painful nerves. But could I really imagine just grabbing a spoon to do the work of my hands?

No.

There’s something lovely about the heat of hands, the feeling of flesh on flesh, and the tingling sensation of human energy. Even premature babies know what I mean.

One study showed that premature infants who received three 15-minute human massages every day for 10 days gained almost 50 percent more weight than infants who took in the same amount of calories but received no massage. I guess one could argue that it’s the extra attention rather than the physical touch itself that led to this weight gain, but I wouldn’t be willing to bet on that. Babies often cry until they are held by another person; they don’t always stop crying when their mothers come into the room and talk to them from two feet away.

It’s just not socially acceptable for mothers to continue cuddling their children past a certain age. Despite that reality, people of all ages can still experience that simple, soothing, healing touch when they hop onto a human massage therapist’s table.

Sorry, robots.

Simplify your life.

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the kind of day where all of your thoughts are jumbled into thousands of half-digested pieces and you’re not exactly sure how your keys ended up in the refrigerator? It’s easy to get caught up in a lot of physical and emotional clutter. It’s important for all of us–especially those of us who exchange energy with others so often–to simplify our lives and regroup. Some simple steps can make for a simpler life.

Breathe – Did you know that forcing yourself to take deep breaths actually alters your physiology? It’s true. Deep breathing decreases the body’s oxygen consumption, decreases the heart rate, and decreases blood pressure. Healthy body, healthy mind. So before you run out the door, shove a bagel in your mouth and rush to your next appointment, please don’t forget to take deep breaths. Make slower movements while you do it. It’s the most simple, healthy gift you can offer yourself.

Clean the Clutter - Simplify your life by simplifying your home.  Imagine how your stress and anxiety levels would fare if you could quickly find the things you actually need without having to sift through all the other stuff. Seriously consider when you last wore that red sweater. If it’s been longer than six months, put it into a large plastic bag with other clothing that’s going to charity. Giving to the needy can also make you feel good about yourself and reduce your anxiety and stress levels.

Use One Car - Share a car with your spouse (i.e. get rid of your second and third car) and take turns riding your bike, or take turns using public transportation. You’ll have fewer bills to worry about, you’ll be getting more exercise (or you’ll at least be enjoying more reading time if you’re taking the bus,) and you’ll be helping out the environment.

Unplug - These days, it’s really easy to get caught up in, “No, it’s my turn to use the television!” and, “They’re testing more missiles overseas?” and “Oh, great, Mom’s nagging me over the phone again.”  Unplug for at least one day every week. Try going a few weeks without reading all the bad news in the paper and focus on some other hobbies. For example, find ways to enjoy yourself in the great outdoors. Walk barefoot in the grass. Appreciate your mere existence. (And don’t forget to take those deep breaths!)

Own Your Time - Reserve 30 minutes to an hour each day and make it “you” time. Taking the time to reflect and consider other ways you can simplify your life will reduce a lot of anxiety and stress. If you simply can’t find any extra time, practice mindful meditation during daily tasks (such as cooking and bathing.) You will feel more relaxed when you begin to feel like your life belongs to you.

This duck is riddled with quackery.

Foreword: Science wasn’t my favorite subject in school. In fact, sometimes I hated science class. Gathering specimens and making notes, then comparing those notes and making more notes for the sake of ensuring accuracy was exhausting to me. So when I say what I’m about to say, I must preface it by emphasizing that I’m humbled by all of the folks who spend their lives trying to make healthcare legitimate and safe for the masses.

I recently ran across an article entitled “How to Spot a ‘Quacky’ website”. It warned people to steer clear from any website that:

-Generally promotes “alternative,” “complementary,” and/or “integrative” methods of treatment

and/or

-promotes  “nontoxic,” “natural,” “holistic,” or “miraculous” treatments.

While I can’t say that I promote miraculous treatments–and, indeed, I’m also sometimes a bit of a skeptic—I do wholeheartedly promote many holistic therapies relating to complementary and alternative medicine (CAM). Yet, according to some of these rules, I’m a sort of quack running a “quacky” website.

In this short essay, I plan to a) Examine the reasons why I’m called a quack and b) Explain why I stand wholeheartedly by what I write, whether or not it makes me a quack.

According to the Quackwatch website, science demands that people who make claims must provide substantial proof to back up those claims. That proof must come by way of sound studies, a well-balanced evaluation, and confirmation by other knowledgeable people. However, not all promoters of complementary and alternative medicine stand by the same rules.

Some complementary and alternative treatments rely mostly upon anecdotal evidence and so-called “sloppy” facts such as, “This medicine has been successful for thousands of years.” Also, the placebo effect is so potent that people, not the treatments, could really be the ones healing their own abnormal physiologies just by believing that they are supposed to be cured.

People who adhere to the strict standards of scientific proof assume that this translates to complete quackery. After all, where are the regulations? They don’t want anyone getting ripped off or, worse, killed by peddlers of fake medicine.

So, what do science sticklers propose we do to provide substantial proof? They don’t just want us to come up with studies; they want us to construct sturdy double-blind tests. In a double-blind test, neither the people administering a study nor the study’s participants know who’s getting the real drug/treatment and who’s getting the placebo. Only at the end of the trial, when results are being collected, will the truth be revealed. This brilliant method of research aims to eliminate any sort of bias on either side of the spectrum.

I appreciate the idea of studying and standardizing all medicine in order to make it safe and reliable. Maybe then more insurance companies would cover more of it. However, I have two major concerns with the demands for double-blind tests:

Concern Number One: Double-blind studies aren’t infallible, not even when they’re designed properly (randomized and placebo-controlled.) Firstly, the people willing to participate may not be perfect representatives of a whole population. Additionally, some studies—even double-blind studies—rely on subjective responses. Take anti-depressant medications, for example: In the course of a study, both the participants who take the placebo and the participants who take the actual test drug will need to interpret a questionnaire and then offer a subjective analysis of how depressed they feel. The study could look at literal factors such as presence of chemicals in the brain, but such hard facts don’t necessarily prove that someone is or isn’t feeling depressed.

Concern Number Two: Applying double-blind studies to complementary and alternative medicine is often impossible. How can a practitioner such as an acupuncturist be blinded to the treatment he is offering to study participants? He either knows he’s doing it properly or he knows he’s giving a placebo treatment.

Science has its limits, no matter what it is attempting to etch in stone. That is why facts change. (Remember when Earth was flat and in the center of the Universe?)

Sometimes the subject of study far transcends the capacity of a pen, paper, and microscope. When it comes to the study of love, for example, science gurus examine alleged “love chemicals” that flow in the brain such as serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, and norepinephrine. They investigate areas in the brain that are thought to light up when a person has loving feelings.

Psychologists go to great lengths to organize love into categories such as romantic love and platonic love. American psychologist R.J. Sternberg said that interpersonal love requires a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Some psychology experts even break down love into stages: first lust, then attraction, and finally attachment.

But none of that encapsulates love. No one—not even scientists who live with their eyes glued hard facts—could truthfully say that the love they have for their families and friends can be quantified by science. Love is love.

I’m not suggesting that complementary and alternative medicine or holistic approaches to health are equivalent to love, but some of their components are similar. For example, the idea of body energy (also called Qi and Prana) may not be entirely understood, but I know it exists when I close my eyes and feel it flowing through my body.

Does that make me a quack? If so, I’m proud to be one.

There is no way to completely avoid toxins.

“The Toxoblaster 28000 Wipes Out Toxins!”

“Eliminate toxins with the new super detox fast!”

“Drink lots of water to flush out the toxins.”

I hear the word “toxins” so frequently that I can’t help but think that my body has become a noxious waste cesspool on the verge of explosion.

What are toxins, anyway? Are they little green monsters with evil grins? Are they really the murky gunk that fills up ionic foot baths? Should I resort to fasting and jumping into an ice cold lake twice a month in an attempt to purge my body of those occasional extra glasses of wine? Probably not.

Toxins are: everywhere. Environmental chemicals, food additives, the stuff we drink at parties, the bath product ingredients that are impossible to pronounce, and even compounds in seemingly innocent foods such as soy.

Toxins are not: avoidable.

Toxins creep up on us whether or not we eat food from our own pesticide-free gardens. They will find a way to sneak into our bodies even if we buy organic body wash. I’m not entirely sure, however, that the sneaky ones—the untested, potentially poisonous chemicals that we breathe in on a daily basis—are what will eventually kill us. (That isn’t to say I’m not concerned about our pollutant-ridden environment.)  However, I’m convinced that what matters more than anything is what we blatantly do to our systems on a daily basis.

I have a lot of faith in the human body. I think that humans are blessed with an amazing, adaptable network of toxin filters (e.g. liver, kidneys, and urinary systems) that have allowed us to thrive on this planet for a long time. The problem is, these systems weren’t made to withstand lots of abuse. I know of people who smoke, try recreational drugs, binge drink, eat junk food, and avoid exercise. Some of these people also sit in sweat lodges, order ionic foot baths, go on “detox fasts,” and obsessively cleanse their colons in an attempt to flush out the toxins.

I can think of an even better and more cost-effective method of flushing them out: drink lots of water, cut back on the junk, and go for a run every now and then. Maintain your body instead of trying to put Band-Aids on preventable damage. If you want to do the extra cleansing rituals in addition to the daily maintenance, your body might reap some extra benefits.